I have decided to start up blogging again. I'm not sure why I decided to have my first post detail my relationship with Ryan. Maybe I feel like I want some people to know how it actually is and not go off assumptions because of venting after a fight, lack of many pictures of us together, not posting things on facebook...etc.
I met Ryan almost a year ago on October 6, 2010. I will be the first to admit that the relationship went serious very fast. We went from taking turns driving to each other's houses (he lives in Thornton, at the time I lived in Centennial), to me spending one weeknight and every weekend there, to me spending almost all of my time there, to me eventually moving in all together...in just a few months of knowing each other. My parents were concerned for sure, but it worked for me and Ryan and they continuously told me that if I'm happy, then they are happy.
The relationship was awesome at the beginning and we couldn't spend enough time together. But after a little while, I was starting to have some doubts. He has a past and a lot of baggage (I will not detail that as I'm sure he won't appreciate me posting his business on the internet), but I was starting to wonder if I could handle it all. He also loves to hunt and fish (to almost the point of obsession) and he told me he does one or the other every weekend (most of the time just Saturday). It made me wonder, if we have kids together one day, will he go fishing or hunting while I'm stuck at home with the baby?
Ultimately, one day we had a LONG talk about EVERYTHING. I detailed all of my concerns about children, his priorities, my sensitivity, his lack of sensitivity...just everything. After that talk, the last thing he said was "I love you. I want to make you happy. I will try harder to make you happy." And ever since then, my doubts are gone. He's not perfect, I'm not perfect. We fight, I stay mad, and he gets over it in 5 minutes. He is very religious, very conservative, has his opinions and won't change his mind about his beliefs. He and I differ in that aspect, but he NEVER tries to push his beliefs on me because he disagrees with what I think. He thinks he's right with his beliefs, I think I'm right with mine...and we are happy to just let each other have our own beliefs.
With his beliefs, I was very worried he wouldn't get along with my friends because they were so different from him. I was happy to see that he gets along with most of my friends, comes with me for get togethers and most of my friends talk to him and tell me they like him. Ryan also makes the effort to talk with my friends and it's nice to see him have long conversations with them. I was also happy that he gets along with my family. They still have concerns with all of his baggage and how it will ultimately affect me, but they have said they like him and say if I'm happy, they are happy.
I am happy. I am VERY happy. True, we have times when we fight and we both say mean things to each other, but after the fire is out, we both realize where we were wrong, acknowledge it, apologize, and move on. I really do think he is the one for me and do see myself marrying him one day. But, for now, I am just happy being with someone who I love and loves me in return.
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